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Children are more robust than you think

How important is the Childhood for later life?
As a child grows up, how much love and support it gets, how much the security offers him his environment – which plays an important role for the welfare of, the.

But?
Childhood is often overestimated. I think there's relics from the early days of psychoanalysis, in the Childhood as the key to the mental development of the human being was seen. I, as a Personality psychologist, evaluated differently, and recent research confirm. We know today: the personality of a 50-Year-old events from the past two years can be more crucial than others, for many decades.

"children, only a reference person actually need to be able to well-develop": Jule Specht, a Personality psychologist. Photo: Jens Gyarmaty

In the many education of Childhood will be counselors but still have a Central importance for happiness and unhappiness in life. There is much written about "Bonding" in the early years of life and how important it is to have a close relationship to his children.
children need reliable caregivers, that is true. But also children that have a difficult Start in life, can be happy adults. Of course, parents for their children should be there and give you a good starting conditions, but even if something Bad happens, that does not automatically mean that it influenced the development of the child. Children are more resilient than you think. And you will learn. Not only from situations in the family, but also in many other situations. At school, among Friends. And a man does not learn of course, only in Childhood, but influenced his whole life by his environment and his experience.

so I can be with an unhappy Childhood, a happy man?
of Course. Anything else would be a very hopeless idea. We know today, for example, that children actually need only one reference person to be able to develop well. This person does not have to be a parent can simply be someone the child can trust and is there for them. And the Childhood is the first and very formative, but not all-important section in one's life.

"You can't say that The parents have failed."

What does this mean for parents today? They are under less pressure to do everything right?
pressure is rarely good, and everything right anyway, no one, a certain amount of Serenity, then, is quite reasonable. There are studies that show very clearly that it can interfere with identity development, even if parents are constantly around the child, take care of any Situation. I have nothing against, if a parent form and a counselor to read, and I think it is good that parents today are more concerned about the development of their children. It is simply important to offer the children a loving and secure environment and to allow a child to try and develop.

What is a safe and secure environment? To give his children something to eat and bring you to bed?
safety means for a child: My parents are interested in me, you talk a lot with me to hear if I can have time for me and show me respect.

"If I'm a shy child, doesn't mean that I will be a shy adult."

Still, parents are afraid that their child device, for example, on the wrong track, and you are complicit in that.
Almost nothing in life is mono-causal. You can not say: The parents have failed. The child had the wrong friends. It has suffered in the school. It is almost always a Combination of many factors. The home is one of them.

you have said earlier, for the personality of a 50-Year-old the events of just the past years might be more important than his early years. Not even as a child, what kind of man will you be later?
Long, one thought: With 30, the personality of a person is Mature. But the personality of a person changes over a lifetime. If I'm a shy child, doesn't mean that I will be a shy adult. I'm maybe not a party Queen, but perhaps more sociable, go out more to me. The constant changeability of the personality of the outdated notion that, in the already in Childhood, the essential characteristics are determined. (Editorial Tamedia)

Created: 23.04.2019, 21:18 PM

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