Ghosting: Therefore disappear suddenly out of your life

Everything is very good, or well, it is, perhaps, not quite so deafening coalescing You are my one and only soul mate-esque as the first 14 days.

But on the whole it goes just fine. You know, that you just need to file the corners and work on the relationship.

And then progressing he. Disappear in fact from the radar. With a modern datingudtryk ghoster he you.

the Advantage of ghosteren by just dropping the relationship - how new or old it may be and act without explanation and let the other stand back as a large wound of the question, is that it does not require long, difficult conversations (a la ‘it's not you, it's me.’

But heartless is it now anyway.

Now american psychologists examined the phenomenon and found out that there are certain common features of them, which excels in ghosting.

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It appears from the study that people who think ghosting is fine, also have a tendency to believe that the only one available, that we all have a soul mate out there somewhere. They have a skæbneforestilling about love and relationships.

Conversely, people that more believe that you will grow with time, that will change, and you can get through parproblemer, a tendency to consider ghosting to be problematic. They have a show about love and relationships, as something you grow with and in.

500 men and women completed questionnaires about these two performances and what they think of ghosting, for example, is it ok to ghoste after a few dates, and when the long-term relationship is over?

Every fourth participant had experienced to be ghostet, every fifth had even ghostet.

The people who really believed in skæbneforestillingen about love and the only one, appeared in the higher degree, that it is ok to end a relationship with the ghosting:

22 percent more likely in the short relationship, and it was around 63 percent more likely, they believed, that it is perfectly fine to just disappear without a word in it-long relationship.

Skæbnefolket looking for soulmaten, also seems less bad about the people that ghoster. And it is 43 percent more likely that they are even considering to ghoste.

According to the researchers reflects the investigation, that a person who subscribes to this skæbneforestilling that the ideal partner is a soul mate, acting very decisively, when he found that they were not ‘meant for each other.’

If you believe that the universe and fate have a one-and-only to you, and you decide that your current flirting or girlfriend / boyfriend does not fit in the imagination, so it feels appropriate to stop the relationship abruptly: ‘Why, however, try to work on the relationship, when you are anyway not meant for each other?’

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Previous research has shown that similar ideas about the destiny and development is also important for sexual arousal.

Canadian psychologists followed 2000 men and women over several years. And the researchers found that if you expect that the good sex life comes of itself, and if you believe in a kind of sexskæbne, the sexual happiness not manifest themselves in the long-term relationship.

If instead you expect, that it requires a deliberate and targeted work to maintain and renew his sexual life, then the likelihood is far greater that one also gets a good sex life.

- People who believe in sexual fate, using their sex life as a barometer for how their relationships go, and they think that problems in the bedroom are equal with relationship problems, says lead author behind the study, Jessica Maxwell.

- People who believe in sexual development, think not only that they can deal with their sexual problems, but they seem nor do the problems affect their relationship.

the Studies showed that in the first few years in a relationship has both groups a good sex life, but then begins the difference to show itself.

- We know that the disagreement in the sexual area are inevitable over time. Sexual arousal is like a garden, and it must be watered and nurtured in order to thrive, says Maxwell, who explains that most people carry on both type of beliefs.

And although women more than men are heavy users of the romantic soul mate - and fate-stories about the one and only, it also appears that women more than men understand that sex requires hard work.

- I think it is because sexual satisfaction in general requires more work for the women, so they put more emphasis on sexual development.