Ask MIA TÖRNBLOM: Challenge you to take the place of

"Ask MIA TÖRNBLOM: Challenge you to take the place of the"

"' Dear Wellness and Mia. My biggest problem is that I wish I had the courage to be myself more often. Maybe it sounds weird, but I find it hard to show who I am in front of other people."

"I am afraid that no one think about me if I say what I really think and feel about things. So I fail, often sitting silent when others talk, sometimes I let completely get to hit people, for fear that I will have to show who I am."

"I am 36 years old and these are the thoughts I have had as long as I can remember."

"What do you think I should do?”"

" With the friendly from here, Maria."

"ANSWER: Hi Maria, many thanks for your letter, your courage and your important question."

"You write quite a bit about the background to what you see as a problem, that you do not dare to take place. Therefore it feels important for me to first of all like to stress that if you experienced something that today hamper you to live the life you want, then you may need to start with to process the events, the time with the help of a psychologist, therapist or similar."

"All the people do not take as much space, all thrive, not to stand in the centre and it really is okay. In a social context is the existence of life is not a competition of who is most visible, all have actually don't talk as much."

"Personally, I like the interaction with people, it is my interest and something I really enjoy. I like to stand on stage and talk about who I am, if I had not liked it I would never had in life forced myself to speak."

"If you do not have the same needs, really do not want to be seen as much, so is it okay to keep a little on the side. Even in the midst of a crowd of people there is a place for those who are a bit coy and the dare to be withdrawn. The one who keeps a lower profile are often really good at seeing the details, make a note of how others behave and what is going on at the side of the talk. Many shy people have enormous insights, and reflects on much of what they most talkative do not have the time for that they are so busy to tell everyone who they are and what they think."

"this iakttagningsförmågan is a very nice property, at least as desirable as that be the one who is seen and heard most, in all circumstances."

"You are of course worthy to take the place that you want. But – and this brings us to one more important thing: no matter how big the place is, you are valuable. You have the right to be with, just as you are. Your opinions, thoughts, values and your experiences are at least as important as all the others. You have lots to bring to your surroundings, believe in yourself."

"It is clear in your email that you are still, somehow, the wish that you could take a little more space. Practice makes perfect is usually to say, but it comes to challenge themselves a little bit right, one step at a time."

"Start with say a small thing, to vent an opinion or thought among the people, perhaps at your job or among the members of the family. Note how the others react. Perhaps someone with, possibly, somebody says, against, some, maybe not even listening. It is a part of the interaction between people, and if you are worried about how others will think and react so it's still exercise."

"But that said, one thing at a time."

"Call between people is always an exchange of information, and sometimes involves a conversation or a discussion to no change opinion. You don't have to be anything, must not say the ”right” thing in order to have the right to take the place of."

"A good trick – if you are a bit shy and thinking a lot on what the ”right” thing to say – is to ask questions. You must not talk about everything you can. Ask questions instead, and listen to how the other responds. Try to reflect on what the other person is talking about, instead of going inside of yourself and completely focus on what you perceive as a flaw in you."

"you say You don't dare to show who you are but I have difficult to see that you would be able to be so ”horrible” that you don't have a place among all the rest of us non-perfect people."

"the Risk to think much but to act, that is, we are inside the head builds creepy skräckscenarior. What if they laugh at me, loudly, all at the same time. Or what if everyone ignores what I say, maybe they think that I seem completely stupid in the head!"

"Our beautiful brain do not always understand the difference between reality and fantasy. In the tank, it has already happened, we were rejected, ridiculed."

"the Opposite of fear is faith and trust, you need to tell yourself that you are worthy to be with, that you are good enough as you are and courage means that we dare to do what we are afraid of. Each small step you take to take up more space will enhance both your confidence and your self-esteem. Good luck!"