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Kristofer Folkhammar: The non-heterosexual parenthood is brittle

Johan Hilton writes under the heading ”The constant talk about raising a child is the wide acceptansens back” about how the mikroaggressiva the notion that all perfected people expected to want to become parents, now also directed against him who is gay (DN 25/4). It is ”the broad acceptansens back”, he writes, that the system of heteronormative livsstilsförväntningar also pushes lgbt people.

In the thing, Hilton has the right. To become, or even want to be, bögpappa is really to be incorporated into something larger that had previously been closed for an. You are invited in straight stugvärme. It will be mirrored in all manner of cultural products and have a chat. Even a small headache becomes in the public domain. And I have never experienced that my own mother understood me so well, looked at me with such warmth and pride, when I told her that a friend and I planned to become parents together. It was what I wanted.

Read more: ”The constant talk about raising a child is the wide acceptansens back”

insanely strong norm. But – we want to live in that makes it on very different premises.

I don't mean to start a bögrace with Hilton, who have the strongest reasons to be less in heteronormativiteten: The married bögen who want to avoid getting the system of heteronormative ideas about children threw against him. Or the ovigde puggan that gropes its way along in a relationship, but like that worst supermånga role models.

We have different starting points. Hilton writes about expectations and annoying assumptions. I, on the other hand, has always wanted to become a parent. Disturbed for a very long time that my homosexuality would be impossible for me to even try to become it. And for the moment I stand, with a washcloth in the hair and snorpapper in hand, in a slitig Sonja Åkesson-everyday life, in all its joy and breathtaking combination of love and duty is the most demanding I had gotten myself into. As for the many who gives up on this with parenting. The only difference is that I do not have the foundations of our civilisation's collective cultural history in the back when I practice it.

Read more: ”I feel no stress, I don't want to be a parent,” writes Amina Manzoor

Johan Hilton's text that shows understanding of how non-heterosexual parenting is something which is quite brittle. Also in these ”tropical times”, he writes. It is the ticket to the heterobegripligheten in many ways. But it also means the arrival to a new uncertain terrain, to the new context to be apart of the new exclusions. Barnavårdcentralers lgbtq certifications in all glory, but, in my experience agrees they do not have much knowledge about how families can look like.

The open ifrågasättandena are few, but do occur. And I is not less than really scared for what a nascent nykonservatism will mean for us as reproduced outside of a heterosexual relationship.

Usually make my focus on the chick herself that I don't have time to take me. Other times, the discomfort twice: in the Past, scared the homophobia and heteronormativity me into a dizzying sense of loneliness. Now grips I instead of the horror that my desire to become a parent meant that I mandatory anyone of the vulnerability. The fear has our rainbow-coloured times have not yet dissipated.

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