I'm going to die of Heroin

Daniel Müller*, 43, a tanned, stocky, waits at the third position in front of the door. To the point of 12.30 PM, they will open. Who's first here, first the shot. To Miller's neck is a thick silver dangling chain. The short-cropped hair is grey. He wears a dark cotton shirt, he has the top three buttons left open.

It is 12.30 PM, Müller enters in a waiting room. Three pale blue plastic chairs, a shelf of exchange books, eight yellow lockers. On a bright-green painted wall is a quote that is assigned to Franz Kafka, in white writing: "New paths are made by walking."

Müller is heading towards a gray door to the left of the entrance. Behind it is what is commonly referred to as a fixer stübli known. The door is locked. There are only so many allowed, as tables are free. Only if the light is green, it is allowed to Müller occur.

another patient in the way.

"Now, I'm on it," he says to her and takes a step in front of the door.

"Can't you let me? My dog had no outlet, please, may I?" she begs.

He looks away.

"A question for you. The dog was not outside since this Morning."

reluctantly, he releases his Position.

"Thank you," she says and scurries past him. Shortly thereafter, the lights and Miller lights to open the door.

Three times a day, 365 days in a year

Miller is one of 58 patients in heroin-assisted program called Icarus. For the last three years, Winterthur is a Patient – three times a day, 365 days in a year, he takes his shot. He's not going in the holidays. He comes in, whether it's him from the summer heat on the forehead burns, whether it is the snow storm to tremble. He is always on time.

Müller is since more than 20 years to be a heroin addict. It all began in his teaching to Automech. On the weekends he celebrated at techno parties in Zurich – "in dark, dangerous club," he says. He realized that he could earn with the Dealing of Ecstasy a lot of money. "That appealed to me."

"I wanted to commit offences in order to Finance my lifestyle."Daniel Müller, Heroin-addict

The Heroin came later, "from the Ecstasy to come down". Quickly the drug was more interesting than the parties. "At the time, I thought, a bathtub full of Heroin, that's all I need. And with a tap, you always turn up." Müller got to know a Dealer and dealing with Heroin. "I earned very much money." He had lunch every day in expensive Restaurants, his phone rang without a break, the women umgarnten him. The friends, he told them to eat as much and drink as you like. He paid for everything. "It was a great time."

Five years, it was time for Müller so, then he flew and had to go to court. They gave him 18 months probation. He chose rehab and spent two and a half years in an addiction clinic in Zurich. Outside, he began to consume and to sell. Three years ago the change of heart came in: "I wanted to commit offences in order to Finance my lifestyle." Müller applied in the case of Icarus, they took him. "Now I have to get up every Morning, noon, and night, I no longer have to deal."

A button for the emergency

The sun is shining brightly into the room. Behind the milk glass, the Green of the Meadow shimmers. Five Metal tables are scattered on the spotless linoleum floor. It sanitizer and tissue boxes. In the Background Fast Car" by Jonas Blue: "You got a fast car, is it fast enough to fly away runs quietly "?"

Müller runs to the counter, behind which two employees of the tax office syringes by hand. A Meter in front of the counter is plotted on the bottom of a wide, red line. "Actually, we would have to wait here, but this is often a little chaotic," he says and grins.

If something happens, you are prepared for the employees: Under the counter is a button installed that will alarm directly to the police.

Müller spreads everything on the table in front of him. He has ten minutes time.

blue paper towels, gauze pads and a small patch. An employee dabs a finger tip of Bepanthen on a gauze. The two employees are familiar with Müller, the man gives him his dose. A clear liquid in a finger-long syringe. Therein Diaphin, pharmaceutically produced Heroin. A stopwatch – "some people sleep in a," explains Müller. He has ten minutes time.

Müller spreads everything on the table in front of you and brings his Abbindschlauch from his Fächli on the wall.

pictures: The first fixer stübli Switzerland

The controlled sale of Heroin has, since 2008, a legal basis, as the population adopted the revised narcotics act. In 2016, were treated according to the Federal office for health of Switzerland 1600 Dependent in 21 supply points. The aim of the controlled release is to stabilize the addict to get from the edge to the center of the society, to reduce crime and to alleviate their physical ailments.

Less crime, less Deaths

The treatment with Heroin is always in combination with a medical and psycho-social care. The cost of the health insurance.

The Swiss tax programme is a success story: Since the introduction a lot less addicts die of drug. They are also healthier, less frequently with HIV and are less criminal. Heroin use is declining and there is little newcomers.

Müller stool brings a Metal. He puts his left leg out, and rolls the Jeans up to the knee. A ausgelatschter flip-flop dangling on the foot. His leg is covered with small blue spots.

A hand's width above the heel of a fresh patch. Müller away tears, a small puncture is coming to the fore."If you can't see the veins, like me, you would have to inject into the muscles. But this is not a Flash."

A heat lamp helps, the veins to swell. Müller holds the red lamp to his calf and moved it slightly back and forth. He drives the Finger to move smoothly over the body, which was covered earlier in the plaster, the vein, he feels it.

"splash If you can't see the veins, like me, you would have to in the muscles. But this is not a Flash."Heroin addict

His hands are steady, his breathing comes evenly. He puts the needle to the injection hole above the heel and holds it flat to the leg. Always in the same angle so that he hits the vein. Slowly the tip of the needle travels under his skin, the clear liquid mixed with his blood. He gives everything, puts the empty needle on the table and holds his left leg in the height. "So the fabric gets faster to the brain, to make it chrüselet," he says and leans back.

"I have no friends, I'm alone"

It was a great time, as the phone rang incessantly, he didn't have to look at the money and all the friends could invite, says Müller. "Then you get older and now I realize: I've lost everything. I have no friends, I am alone in this world." The one with the house on the lake, the dog, the wife and the children he had abandoned. "This is no longer my desire."

Miller was no longer tempted by Heroin habit to kick. "I can't do it. I'm going to die." Probably not here, but in ten or 15 years – maybe there is somewhere a retirement home for Junkies like him. "My wish is that I survive until 65, I'm up to then healthy. And if it takes me, it takes me quickly."

Müller makes his leg a Minute in the height. The employee at the counter taps with your Finger on an imaginary watch on your wrist. Time is running out. He disinfected the area with a gauze. Presses short, it sticks out a fresh band-aid.

He stands up, putting everything together, powered the hose in his Fächli. The paper towels and gauzes he crumples and throws it in the bucket behind him. The empty syringe he must show the front of the counter and into a round hole throw, you will be specially disposed of.

He wiped the table clean, straightening the chair and disappears. Get out, enjoy the sun.

* the Name has been changed.

This article first appeared on 3. July 2018 in the country messenger. In the context of an annual review, we publish selected texts again.

(der landbote)

Created: 26.12.2018, 16:55 PM