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Teenager Joanna died unexpectedly - our Children the last word, you have comforted us, told the mother in the book
A theologian and psychotherapist, the book will help, as well as the death of a child grieving parents that their comforting close and professionals.Grief to be comforting it takes courage to be present. The word of quantity is not required, tell me my Child is gone -the author of the book Eve Deer. (Stock.) MARINA KHRAPOVA/UNSPLASH

- a child of my Own death, grief is a totally different class of grief as a spouse or your own parent's grief, said second fresh my Baby is gone -book authors, theologians Eve Deer .

the Idea of the book could smolder Deer and his side grieving to help the family - and psychotherapist Tarja Tar pit mind a dozen years before the end of the weight under the machine. Deer is to guide children who have lost their parents grief group in his hometown of tornio in all in twenty years.

Works began, when as a teacher working for the Deer in the school two pupils died during the first year. The dead children's parents are asking the congregation to organize a peer support group, and that its director should children and young people with work accustomed to Deer.

That peer support is the fact that my Child is gone seeks to provide.

the Book was made for the everyday need and their own helplessness. I've work for have had to go in to situations where the child is dead, either the priest or the teacher in the role. In the words and presence is important. Then I hope that the left could leave something, where the grieving can be comforted, then when is already able to read something.

grief groups guide his the Deer and the Tar pits are noticed, how important peer support is. Partner of useful insight has been to bring together parents who have just gone through a grief group, and the same experienced, whose loss is worn for a long time.

- we Do them on trips to nature and nokipannu coffee cooking we see with our own eyes, how encouraging further grief therapy advanced peer support is for those who have been recently in that situation, the Deer told me.

courage to the bereaved to face

a large part of the pages of the book are the children who have lost their parents, siblings and grandparents stories of the death of the child caused by grief. In addition the book has information about grief work and grief the encounter.

- the most important thing a grieving encounter's authenticity and the fact that any company will face. That dare is to go to the bereaved home or no evasive when seen by chance. Ask the grieving feel even longer time since the child loss grief is a long process. We are grieving available so that you can take that anxiety and sorrow, Deer said.

the Deer remind you that the grieving emotions can be very diverse with anger, longing, and everything in between. The presence can only be alongside the sitting and hand-holding. Grieving does not need to explain what has happened, especially if it is not itself experienced the same.

- the word of quantity is not as important as the presence. Know-it-alls in the comments you should avoid. Grieving support needs the most courage to be present and take the grief. However, it is a us site for just a small moment that we have to accept the sorrow compared to what the grief experience.

Sometimes grief can make people at least temporarily torjuvaksi. It's not like boggle or injured. Contact can take gently after some time again. Grieving support is the simplest form of running the club offering or taking food out of mourning, because initially during normal, everyday activities may not be enough power. What is important is to remember to close the grief still after the funeral, when the feeling of emptiness usually only really hits.

Grief touches extensively

When a child dies, the grief at the center are the parents, but often the case touching the other. Also a recent book out loud from both deceased siblings of the grandparents. They are not Deer, especially the smaller places have always remembered the support sufficient.

- Many siblings-death experience have said, that had to give up at the same time also their parents. Our profession-people should much more consider how sibling grief is taken into account, because the parents are not necessarily immediately able to help their own children.

Deer considering that just like parents, children also can be a grief group. Children channel their grief through play and other activities of the season, needed only someone to guide them.

Grief is not a disease but a natural reaction to what's happening. We say that it's the price of love. Often grief to review the need for outside help and the child is not necessarily the words to express it.

the Deer I hope, too, that the book with the help of professionals, but also friends and other relatives, who are not as broken as parents, could account for the loss of the experienced family other children.

Grandparents touching mourning the death of a child is a two-way. It is the sadness of a child the death of a child and on the other hand, care about how your children cope with the great loss.

- Also, the relationship of grief takes on a hard, because women and men often have different way to go through grief work. Men's grief is often more to do. Women having feelings is easier. Both parents should be allowed to grieve their own sorrows without having to all the time to support another. Often, parents would benefit from outside professional assistance. The outside could be the spouse of another emotion and behavior interpreter the painful life situation, so that would not happen, as one story the narrator says in our book: "we were Sitting in the same boat but we're rowing in different directions", Deer said.

Read excerpts from the book under the picture.

KIRJAPAJA

the Case is initially published in August 2018.

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