there was a 23-year-old athletic young woman began to wait for first child in February 2015.
we'd been dating my partner with the high school ever since first grade. It seemed that all the stars were right, and baby would complete our happiness, Milja recalls.
the Waiting was Miljalle physically easy. Small early pregnancy except for the nausea of his condition was the whole period of pregnancy excellent.
I Went to pull the heavy group fitness classes yet week 34, I'm not really even seem like that I was pregnant.
a cold and frosty frosty morning launched the birth was uneventful waiting period, according to the model. Healthy and bushy haired little boy, toured the parents around her little finger next parkaisun.
It is the last time, when Milja can remember being genuinely happy, without the neck breathing anxiety.
I Remember how we slept the birth of the institution in the family room next to each other, and staring alternately at each other and our little boy.Fotolia/AOP”Eventually I got tired of the grind issue”
Discharge after Milja felt herself exhausted despite the fact that the baby slept at night several hour-long snippets.
I Mentioned the matter to the clinic and I spoke to about the middle of the district. It only acknowledged that after the birth all tired. I was wondering to myself, why, my baby wakes me up just once a night.
Milja got their own request a referral to have blood tests, but fatigue is found in their results.
– Finally, I no longer dared to grind it to anyone and decided that okay, maybe this is relevant and goes to time over.
Fatigue is not, however, give up, but exhaustion seems to be growing, although Milja did her best, moving a lot and ate healthy. Child care or home maintenance she does not, however, compromised.
– for Me it was some kind of status issue that the kitchen sink was in the evenings empty and that my son's clothes had never puree smudges, and a corner of the spinning poodle. I remember sitting alone on the couch about a month after giving birth and to reflect on why I feel so miserable, though all was well. Your my employment end my maternity leave started when my offices were abolished, but my husband was earning very well, so our financial situation was excellent. I tried to talk to my husband, but he noted that dwell on it too much, and make me feel better, when I stopped to dwell on the matter. After the issue is no longer talked about.”Staring at the head in the fog the other mothers who lallattivat children mouth you smile”
after This, the anxiety sucked the young mother. He seemed to float in the void, and didn't get a grip on anything anymore. The future looked bleak, although the hand should have been life happy most of the time.
Physically I had my children present, but not mentally. Many days I don't remember much of anything, I get up in the morning out of bed mechanically. I cooked my husband a cup of morning coffee, I packed a picnic lunch and feed the child. Nothing felt like nothing, on the outside I acted normal, but inside I was completely numb.
Milja was considering raising the issue clinic, but the mother of the Facebook-community to be the script made him to reverse his decision.
Some woman wrote about how she had made a child protection notification, when he had answered truthfully clinic depression questionnaire. Decided that we don't really do, and I was in clinic all smiles. Form after my manager praised that wonderful that you can so well. Now I think that those forms don't have any posts, a mere formality.
Milja felt performance pressures grow by the minute. Each clinic flyer, forum and loved the advice seems to tell her what she should do.
When my son was three months old, we signed up for kindermusik. I sat there, head in a fog, staring at the other mothers, who lallattivat children mouth smile. I came to the conclusion that I should just wear a smile on my face and in the end all would be well.Mail arriving with the bomb
All was not well, and the situation worsened continually. When the son was ten months old mail arriving with the bomb.
– my Husband's work involves a lot of travel both domestically and abroad. Home came to the hotel a letter in his name. We had agreed that I got to open all the letters, because I take care of bill payments.
the Letter fell a small card and a thin silver pendant, with a dangling blue teardrop-shaped diamond.
”This was left in your room :)”
I Remember how I felt the smiley ilkkuvan me. The second I realized that my husband had another woman or even other women.
It Milja didn't realize why. After all, he had done everything.
I Had done everything right according to the instructions. We always had food ready when he arrived home, exhaustion, despite I was squat and run raskauskiloni out, and brushed the hair and makeup on a daily basis. Seksiinkin I was invested, even though I had it done mind. I thought that the way to work.
When the man in the evening returned home from work, Milja waited for the pendant and card with the dim light in the living room. The discussion becomes a full-fledged feud.
– my Husband accused me of feeling the cold, I heard he had been present for many months. Throat, but I couldn't even cry. I felt that I had deserved all this. Even though I had tried everything, I had done something wrong.
conflict at the end of the Milja man left the door blazing, and refused to respond to this call.Suicidal thoughts roused
the Next morning, Milja stood with the baby in their apartment in the balcony, looked at the past loves autumn colors and reflection, why he had drifted into this situation.
Then I found myself reflecting that if I just jumped son in my arms the balcony over the edge, all the easier.
For a moment she dug her phone from her pocket and put her husband a message.
I Asked him to come immediately, so I could get to the doctor. I told him that I would hurt point myself or someone else. I don't think that I would be able to do anything, but it was a cry for help.
in the Emergency Milja collapse. Ten months of nausea, exhaustion and anxiety off in one big avalanche.
I was given some kind of sedative. I slept the next day and I get to discuss my situation better.
Miljalla found severe postnatal depression and exhaustion. She turned to her husband with short, mostly their children, as well as Miljan stay in hospital-related messages. Milja had decided to stay in the ward to rest for a few days and I hope they will come to see him.
I Miss my baby so, that it breaks my heart. I miss my boys. Then I was sure that we would survive this.All were taken away in less than a week
it Turned out that the Audio was horribly wrong. On the fourth hospital stay on the day she received her husband's message, that the apartment had been put up for sale. The man himself had already moved their belongings out. This message followed the announcement Milja remember the rest of his life.
the Man told me that he discussed the social worker and the child health clinic with a nurse about our situation, and all felt it was best that our children would change him. In less than a week they took everything from me.
Milja was discharged eventually, a week later, the antidepressants in his pocket. Door, he drew a breath and hope, that everything was a bad dream. Quiet home echo, however hollow.
my Husband had taken many pieces of furniture, but left all the common lives reveal the objects, photos and memories. I lay in bed and cuddle our son for half a year in days taken family photos against my chest.
depression medicine with the help of Milja had collected strength enough so that she could begin to figure out the situation of child custody. Finally, three weeks after he got to see her child under supervision.”I'm not going to tell our son the whole story”
Now, two years later, Milja get to meet with the child two weekends a month and two different weekday. Depression, he has not recovered, but the sick leave will continue. He hoped that the depression talk more honestly and more genuinely.
no – One tell me or show me what depression really is, when people have collapsed. When every breath is pain, you can be two weeks without brushing your teeth and without eating for several days.
in the Future, he hopes to get to meet her child more. Throughout the story, Milja was not going to his son, however, never told.
I don't want to bark my child to her father. In spite of all she has loved and taken care of our son very well. However, I want to raise my son so that he would never come to work in the same way as his father acted towards me.in the Video the priest and the therapist Miia Moisio tell me, how close can help a depressed.