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Why online dating doesn't work

At the end of 2019, the popular online men's magazine MEN's LIFE conducted a series of surveys among Tinder users.

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Why online dating doesn't work

At the end of 2019, the popular online men's magazine MEN's LIFE conducted a series of surveys among Tinder users.

At the end of 2019, the popular online men's magazine MEN's LIFE conducted a series of surveys among Tinder users. By interviewing their readers, the authors found that only 50% of the couples had gone on a date. A similar study was conducted by one of the institutes in Norway among its students. Results — about 50% of Tinder users went out on a date. And 20% had sex with a partner that he/she met in the app.

50% is quite a lot. But why do some people easily and quickly find a date to meet, while others constantly fail? Let's figure it out!

5 factors that prevent you from meeting and getting acquainted

First, an important clarification: the ratio of men and women on dating sites is 60:40, respectively. It's a priori harder for men to find a mate and get a date. And yet, there are things that increase your chances. As well as those that marginalize them to nothing. Let's dwell on the latter:

  • Inappropriate profile photos. Look at your photos with an open mind. Are they all right? A “sleepy” selfie on a smartphone 's 3-mega-pixel frontal camera should definitely not be your choice. As well as photos in the company of friends, in a strange pose, with alcohol or a cigarette in your hands. Of course, it's not necessary at all to put on a tuxedo and visit a photo studio. Your photos should be natural, reasonably clear and merely normal. A smile on your face, a neat appearance, a suitable background – that's quite enough.

  • An empty or fake account. If the site or app requires you to fill out a profile, say something about yourself, your interests and hobbies, then do it. An empty page doesn't arouse interest. Moreover, it can frighten off visitors. Don't even think of fake photos and fictitious names. Firstly, more and more sites are carefully checking each and every account. And secondly, it will be very awkward if a potential partner sees a completely different person than what they expected. There's no need to start an acquaintance with deception, even if it is a trifling one.

  • Inability to conduct a dialogue. Do not be surprised if the elementary "Hello! What's up?" doesn't get you an answer. And even more so, if you keep pressing during the dialogue, turn on the arrogant "alpha male" mode or just behave improperly. Try to find common interests — the information in the profile is usually quite enough. Discuss something neutral, talk about movies, music, pets. There are tons of topics for an interesting conversation.

  • If you are embarrassingly shy to communicate with a stranger, think through the "strategy", prepare possible scenarios for the dialogue in your mind. Nobody is pushing you. Corresponding by text is always easier than live communication.

  • Using only one site/application for dating. It is definitely not worth being limited to only one dating resource. By using at least two or three, you will significantly increase your chances. Moreover, you need to carefully study what kind of site or app it is. For example, there is a popular resource called Lavalife. But most of its users are over 45 years old. If you are younger, there is no point in registering here. Or another example — apps like Down, Pure, and similar ones. They position themselves as platforms for intimate dating and search for sexual partners. Consequently, looking here for a person with the intention of entering into a serious relationship is a waste of time.

  • Also, note whether the site (app) is popular in your area. It is quite possible that there are simply no people living near you. And not everyone is ready to go to another city or even fly abroad for the sake of one date.

  • Lack of initiative. This does not mean that you need to ask for a date on the very first conversation online. But you shouldn't delay this issue either. Sooner or later, any online communication gets boring and exhausts itself. And if the other person realizes that things will not get further than just messages or video-chats, eventually the communication will come to an end. If you are interested in a person, and you have been writing or calling each other for several days, why not go offline? A personal meeting is much better than an endless and often empty conversation on the Web.

  • Important! When you do fix a date, choose crowded places, tell your family or friends where you are going, and keep your phone handy. Remember, it doesn't hurt to be extra cautious when dating on the Internet.

    Some useful tips on how to communicate on dating sites

  • Before starting to write, research the person's profile. It will be much easier to conduct a dialogue if you first learn about his/her interests and tastes. Turn the conversation in a direction that is relevant to both of you. Don't impose your topics on the other person too hard — it's tiresome.

  • Be able to stop the conversation in time. If you see that this is not your type of person from the outset and you're not enjoying the conversation, then end the dialogue. Take the time to find new acquaintances.

  • Be grammatically correct. This does not mean that every message should be written with the help of a dictionary. But it doesn't hurt to reread it at least once before sending it. 1-2 typos is not a big deal. But if there are more errors in a sentence than words, it is unlikely that they will want to meet you. As a last resort, check the text in a text editor before sending it. Many of them are good at finding grammatical and punctuation errors.

  • Don't vanish. If you are in the middle of a dialogue with a person, try not to disappear. Greet the other person and say goodbye each time you end your conversation for the day. By interrupting a conversation in the middle of a word, you won't display a good impression — it's not just respectful. Try not to delay replying. Of course, you don't need to navigate your message feed 24/7 and respond straight away. But it doesn't hurt to check the chat in your free time. Waiting is not what your partner expects.

  • Don't be selfish. Talking about yourself — it's a good thing. But don't overdo it. It may be highly likely that your life isn't exciting enough to talk about 90% of the time. Get to know the person you are talking to, ask questions, and keep the conversation going. The ability to listen is excellent quality.

  • And most importantly — be yourself! There's no need to play a role and try to be who you are not. After all, sooner or later you'll have to remove the mask. So let others see the real you here and now!

    Source article: Cam Chat

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