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The oldest pain of the world

woman Allende, they had to flee with the beginning of 30 from their native Chile to Venezuela. Later, their daughter, Paula, died of a erbbedingten metabolic di

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The oldest pain of the world

woman Allende, they had to flee with the beginning of 30 from their native Chile to Venezuela. Later, their daughter, Paula, died of a erbbedingten metabolic disease, and two of her step children to a drug Overdose. Have you ever wondered: Why does everything happen to me?
Isabel Allende: no. Why should I be so privileged that my family doesn't get hurt?

Some people feel after strokes of fate from life to be punished.
to lose A child, is the oldest pain of the world. Like all mothers, I always thought: Should happen to my child something terrible, to die, I also. Then my daughter happened something terrible – and I'm not dead. It is only when life tests, and we know how much power is actually within us. Somehow I'm even grateful that I was so often asked on the test.

are you serious?
As a young woman I was only on the Fight. I've tried to educate my two children, to work, and in exile. All at the same time. When my daughter died, came the turning point: I learned to let go of. I couldn't protect her from death, I can't protect you from anything. Our power is limited. This process lasted for a year. In this time I got to Paula's bed, sat up to the end.

What has helped you in this time?
There is a parable for me has a great meaning: the time of our lives we are sitting in a boat on a raging river, everywhere large stones. Against the force of the water, we have no Chance. But we can try not to crash with the help of our rudder to each individual stone.

Is the rudder, you are speaking of the Church?
no, Religion offers me no consolation. You know, at the moment, I'm so sorry, my mother just died. This is an interesting time.

Why is it interesting?
We were very close. But because I live in the vicinity of San Francisco, and it took place in Chile, our relationship, especially in written Form. Maybe it worked so so well. We have written to us for 40 years a letter every day, and later E-Mails. Now, each day seems unfinished, because I haven't written to my mother. So I started to read the old letters again. Each and every day.

Comfort?
Yes, because I can hear their voice. It is short in front of your 98. Birthday died and was enchanting until the end. Even though I knew this day will come, I am expected to never assume that you could actually die.

What is your father?
He left us when I was three years old. We never saw him again.

describe your Childhood as "a time of darkness". What was grim?
After our father was gone, my mother came with our Grandfather in a house of mourning. My grandma died shortly before, so there were no flowers, no music, no dessert. My grandfather only wore black dresses and had even all the furniture black. So it was in the truest sense of the word bleak. For eight years.

"To the outside world I seemed like a good girl, but in my mind, there was a lot of it."

it sounds like in her novel "The haunted house", which has autobiographical traits. Could not shield her mother from this darkness?
no. She was always sick, because she was so unhappy. There was no divorce, their marriage was annulled. So she was a single woman with three extra-marital children, without education, without money, without work.

How did that influence your Childhood?
I tried to protect my mother, and was more their mother than you, my. She even called me mommy, and spoke to me with a formal you, while I duzte you. That was in Chile, not unusual, but showed a particularly close Form of cooperation. At the same time I never wanted to like you, even though I adored you.

How they wanted to be instead?
Strong and so independent that I never have to ask anyone's permission. As my Grandfather. I was in a pure men's large household among brothers and uncles, but my life was very different than yours. That made me angry, and I began to hate the Patriarchy. To the outside I seemed like a good girl, but in my mind, there was a lot of it.

How has expressed the Boil?
I've been thinking early on about how unfair it is to be a woman. My mother was a victim of her circumstances in a conservative, Patriarchal, Catholic, class-oriented family and society. You stuck completely.

she worked as a journalist, among other things, for the feminist magazine "Paula". Helped them dasin your anger?
Yes, because I was able to make it, finally something Positive. It was a revelation for me to see that there is such a thing as feminism at all, and I'm not the only one angry woman on this planet. There was this global movement with a clear, intelligent, but also humorous language, which expressed what we felt. In Chile, this was something New. The work was incredibly liberating, we were able to discuss topics such as Prostitution, infidelity, chauvinism, which were previously hushed up.

How is the Situation in Chile today?
It has done a lot, yet it is turned there is still very backward. Chile has first allowed in 2004, as the last Western country – after nine years of debate – the divorce. My mother was able to marry, therefore, only with over 90 years of age, because the first woman had to cancel my step-father's marriage never. I think it would have been better if they would have remained legendary lovers. But my mother's marriage was important. You struggled all your life to have a man.

When you ran it a little differently: your second marriage broke up after 27 years. During their marriage, their daughter died, then two children of her husband. It was just too much Leidfür a relationship?
Only a few parents survive the death of a child as a Couple, because everyone grieves differently, and as a result, the impression cannot arise that the other feels the Same. We have lost three children. When my daughter died, I distributed pictures of her in the whole house, I founded a Foundation and "Paula" wrote a book about the time of their illness. Willie went with the death of his children is completely different. But you must not values, of course.

you Have still contact to him?
fortunately, we managed to stay good friends. He has re-married a wonderful woman he knows from school. What's funny is, shortly after we had become a Couple, I asked him: Why are you getting married actually me and not Carmen? It fits so much better to you.

After the end of their marriage they were for the first Time in your life alone. How was it for you?
Very good, thanks to family and friends, I was not really alone. I bought a small house, because I ran out of my age to stay alone. But it came different. Roger, a lawyer from New York, began to write to me.

you will certainly get a lot of Mail from readers.
Yeah, but nobody's ever written me such a perseverance. Roger had heard my voice on the Radio and wrote to me then, about five months every Morning and every evening, an e-Mail. If I get a reader email, I answer always. But only once, otherwise it will be too much. It seemed to not bother him, however, that I answered him.

And what happened after these five months?
I had to professionally for an event to New York and wanted to know who writes to me. At dinner I asked him: "I am 73 years old and I have no time to waste. What do you want from me?" A few months later he moved in with me. He sold his house in New York and all of his stuff and came with a suitcase of clothes, two bicycles and a couple of crystal glasses to California. I don't know why he hangs out on these glasses.

it is always this fast?
What can happen? If it doesn't work, we are pulling apart again. I think it's great that he just came to me. He is after all 74 years old. I would not have been ready to move to New York.

He is believed to be very much in love.
The poor guy is totally delusional. He will Wake up one day and see what he has actually done.

(editing Tamedia)

Created: 20.12.2018, 20:47 PM

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