The most secret Sex desires of the partner? No Idea

Ms. Schiftan, inhibitions are tedious, but not so bad: Has Hemmige Mani Matter song "" the topic is finally brought to the point?
Finally, certainly not. He lit up a area, I would absolutely subscribe to that. Our inhibitions to ensure that we run füdliblutt through the streets, but look first, as it will make the other. We see every day in our children of the importance of the process of socialization is. A healthy degree of inhibitions is absolutely essential for survival. Who has no inhibitions, to reach out to others, lives are effectively life-threatening.

If I take me on the road, it is not dangerous.
But you had a relationship with the police because of excitation of public Annoyance. That would be stupid. Without inhibitions, to us, the public compass would be missing, and we would do the same a week later the same again.

"inhibitions make not free" Dania Schiftan works as a self-employed Sex - and psychotherapist in Zurich, Switzerland. Photo: pd

We have mostly the feeling that we have the inhibitions a lot.
Yes. Eventually, when our life of the inhibitions is, it can accept pathological growths. Inhibitions a prison, and not many people are able to change it.

you advise people to sexuality , and partnership. Many of your patients have such problems?
I would argue that almost all of them. What I often see is that people are for decades, in a relationship, and claim they were to each other from the inside out. When I ask then, what is the most secret Sex desires of the partner are, it is said, then: No idea.

"When it comes to sexuality, many people have a big button."

you have to know the most secret desires of the partner?
It is always good to know everything, but imagine: If I wanted to tell my husband that I like to I say something Classic – in the bed, a third Person would have. If I don't know how he finds the, I suppose, that he would shoot poorly. That's why I hesitate to say that to him. If I have desires that I cannot Express, I am restricted to possibly sexually already.

What is more devastating? If you throw everything unfiltered to the head, or if you do not because of barriers equal to everything?
Unfiltered, we expect our partners, often to negative things. We fart, while the other is there, we'll throw him permanently, what a annoying to him. At the same time positive themes – what my passion would be what I'd sexually like that? – swept under the carpet. Also in the case of those who have the feeling, "I tell him everything".

Why you are inhibited of all the positive things?
most people have no trouble to argue so loud that it can hear the neighbours. But if the neighbors would hear them during Sex, you would die of shame. I can guarantee: If the neighbor could choose, he would opt for the sex noises. On the subject of sexuality, many have a big button.

Why?
In our society, are connected to the Body with very many inhibitions. On the one hand, it is a social Problem that all of the bodily processes will change in the negative, with Deodorants, panty liners, and three times a day T-Shirt. And just when the topic of sexuality, we don't know a lot and have hardly any contact persons.

"self-confidence can be built."

If you do not trust in the relationship to Express his wishes: Can you train that?
First, you must be aware of his needs and self-aware. Then comes the question: How sure I am of my needs? The clearer I can formulate, the easier it is to explain to the other what I want.

But self-consciousness, but not so easy to build.
But. With Training and positive experiences, something you can do. This is for the children as well, with Practice one learns.

To children, you will want to try to convey a good body safety. Since some of the inhibitions are often in the way.
Definitely. Experience has shown that small children are always there. Even if you wipe just the Po. The more natural I am with my body, the more I can allow that to happen, because the children are curious, get to know the world, the more children can learn then. You can realize a body is a Beautiful thing. Mommy looks different than daddy. Since the sex education does not begin, then, with it still speaks for a long time the sexuality of the child.

"We're so scared of rejection that we give up too quickly."

I Can hook the Butt wipe? If my one year old son is watching, okay. But the three years I send out, I do my business in private. I convey, is too much prudery?
you make the intuitively right. The daughter may well learn that there are things you do alone. But, preventive withdraw out of respect for the child, the nudity might be too much, is not even necessary. If the child is uncomfortable, it goes away by itself.

What do you advise if someone is looking for a Partner, but it just doesn't work out, because he is blocked?
Practice. It comes to skills, as in other areas of life also, you can train and must, and worth it. In the case of a football game with maybe 50 chances to score two, three goals in the end effective. One often forgets, that may be while Dating also so. We're so scared of rejection that we find after the first two baskets already, uh no, it's nothing for me.

fear of rejection is the main driver of the inhibitions?
Sure.

We always go by the Inhibited. Also people will come to you in the practice that are disinhibited to?
Yes. I also advise people who have a Problem with the neck, for example, because you have touched someone. Others have when Dating never succeed, because they are always directly and with the door into the house will fall. I can also see that in me. Mani Matter was right.

Created: 22.11.2019, 21:13 PM