You have probably heard it before, but perhaps you have thought that it does not apply to you and your relationship.
But it does.
the Way to a thriving and intimate sex life, and a spacious and loving relationship goes through proper and honest communication.
It explains psychologist and kommunikationsforsker Jennifer Priem, based on the theory that we all have a preferred kærlighedssprog - and that is crucial to know its own and, not least, his partner's.
For when you know how the boyfriend preferably receives and gives love, it is much easier to find common ground in the couple.
The five kærlighedssprog, which in its time was launched by therapist Gary Chapman are; 'Appreciative words', 'the Time for each other', 'receiving gifts', 'Services' and 'Physical touch.'
Take a free test here to find your primary kærlighedssprog.
You can be bilingual or more typically have a primary and secondary language.
the Gist is that once you have learned to your own and your girlfriend's language to know, you can better understand them and work to become better at speaking your partner's kærlighedssprog, although it is not nødvendigivis is natural for you.
And this is where the conversation comes into the picture.
Before you talk with your partner about the things that get him or her to feel loved and appreciated, so think about your own need in the direction:
What things do your girlfriend, which causes you to feel seen, heard, accepted, appreciated, taken care of and loved. Find concrete situations above as examples and think about why this behavior means anything to you.
Think of what you're missing from your partner - it gives the opportunity to find out where the boyfriend can meet your needs.
Then you can ask your loved one to think about his kærlighedssprog. Be curious, and remember, that it is not about finding all the ways he or she is doing something ‘wrong'.
Ask for example, what are the things you do, which will get him/her to feel himself loved and special.
Think about what ways you try to show your love on and ask what your boyfriend thinks about the action. If your boyfriend has been stressed out recently, and you so in order to help fix stuff for him, ask what he/she is thinking and feeling about it. Go a little deeper and find out what is nice to show love on the way.
Perhaps it turns out that your gf does not see and feel the behavior as a sign of love, so ask what you could do.
Ask her: ‘How are you trying to show your love to me?’ It is an interesting question, for you must bear in mind that we typically show love in the way we'd want to be loved.
Listen and learn, join in the conversation on the way, you would like to see that your partner is doing. So when you have understood, what is best for your gf and what is not be labeled as love, you can tell about yourself and your own language.
Remember, it's all about, that both Of you love each other, and that, therefore, would like to give each other a sense of being loved. But if you don't know what works/what kærlighedssprog her boyfriend are talking, you run the risk of talking past each other, in spite of a great effort.
The 5 languages
Mindfulrich.com these explanations of what the five kærlighedssprog:
If you and/or your partner scores the highest on the appreciative/appreciative words, so you can turn up the praise, encouraging, kind and humble words. Equally important is it to turn down the reproaches, criticism and bickering, because on the emotional level can be translated to 'I love you'.
If you and/or your partner scores the highest at the time for each other, so it makes sense to put time in the calendar continuously. Sometimes for some hours and sometimes a whole weekend. In everyday life it can also just be 15-30 minutes, where In trying to be present together. It is also important to have a dialogue about what quality time is for each of you.
In today's society spoken so much about the sex, and there is almost a pressure on, that one must always have the desire for sex. At the same time, have a busy schedule, stress and lack of presence of an unfavorable influence on the sexual desire.
But the physical contact need not only be sex. Become creative with regard to the types of physical contact, and communicate what you like and dream about. Ask your partner what he/she is dreaming about.
the Challenge of gifts is that it is often the thought behind the gift that means something. It makes it especially difficult because rarely is the mind reader. It is therefore important to make efforts to find out what your loved one appreciate and find out of the want to continuously.
Services require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy. If you do it in a loving and positive way, they can be an expression of love, unless it just becomes habits. It is really important to know about the services, are the following.
If you use the services as an expression of love, so it must be a service the other party wants, and done in the way the recipient wants it. Otherwise it will not be an expression of love.