Man is not a family assistant a - I saw you avoid the christmas dispute

Don't let your partner dictate, anticipate and accept help. Mostphotos discuss the wishes of the now

cracking the relationship is not repaired by spending three days together at christmas, but for good or for bad, christmas is yes, the importance of the couple relationship. If you discuss christmas related wishes is yet to take, take it now. Please be honest.

Many give your partner amount, and not dare to bring their own desires to the fore. At the same time he might be disappointed when told the remaining desires are not realized. If the back is years or even decades of history to spend christmas with the couple's second party in a way, their own wishes to tell of course require a lot, said the doctor of theology and of Better marriages -the association executive director Hanna Ranssi-Matikainen.

Women working out and explode on the eve of the

Christmas can go wrong too, because a couple of division of labor is inherently unequal.

- Flat household chores splitting is easy to implement when the family is not children. When the couple have children, the traditional role models for one reason or another are activated and women can start working at home and men to escape work. Housework should, however, know how to share fairly.

Evenly household chores make the couple are, according to studies, more happy than other couples. Household chores do not, however, evenly distributed to Finnish homes.

- Many women are quick to do housework. He might think that I do this work briskly out of the way. Years after the business model becomes the standard and it will give birth to bitterness. Too often women also shows a man, men don't do housework as well as women themselves. Women should take help as it comes and leave the housework just do not load growing too large.

as long As the child has fun - wrong!

the Third error is the christmas season can be that couple that has children, set the children of the couple relationship over the welfare of.

many in the family thought that everything is fine, as long as the children have fun. Spouses ' welfare, however, supports children's well-being. Children enjoy the genuine fact, when parents have fun with each other.

Ranssi-Matikainen says everything goes on time use. Always changes need not be large. Adult two central moments can be short and still significant. If possible, the christmas holidays should start by not alone your partner.

- It can be a common shopping trips or walks.

Christmas pressures erupt

If before christmas is roasted at work, acquired stressed the gifts and preparations for christmas herring, the eve of the threat of explosion. Or the whole christmas atmosphere can be sluggish. Any disputes should anticipate as well as possible.

- for Example, all transitional situations, such as output and income and children's wear-offs and take-offs are critical steps. They should delegate in advance. If the hallway is rage, delegation is not necessarily pretty anymore.

women in Particular may have an important role to play.

- Have a good attitude on the level to remember that man is not the family of a busboy. Many expect that another should know without saying what to do.

the Hopes, however to speak and it is done in time.

- Afterwards mäkättäminen ruin the mood. It will take peace. All alone in the company of family is a bad thing. It burdens the relationship in the end so much.

the Case is initially published in December 2017.

EMMELINE OKSANEN emmi.oksanen@iltalehti.fi