I felt hatred, fear, shame and disgust

she stirred slowly in her black coffee, thinking, then speaks clearly. Tatjana Bold takes the word rape without hesitation in the mouth. You realize that you "arranged", what happened to her. Still, it is very delicate, but her look and her hands are fixed pressure.

Kuehne was 18 years old when they began their rape of writing to work on. For two years she had told anyone, what was your age of 13. You tried, and what happened to hide. But the pictures came back. If cigarettes smelled or alcohol on his breath. If anyone touched her on the wrist. If you lay at night, sleepless in bed.

Often, they ran in the middle of the night out of the house, across the field and into the forest, to sit down to a pond, where the cold in the bone crawled. Their parents knew nothing, and she wanted to tell you anything, you are not the image of the perfect daughter. Finally, you have entrusted to a friend. This helped her to tell it to the parents.

escape in an eating disorder

"Five years, I had felt every day hatred and fear and shame and disgust," writes Bold in your book. You've had a eskalative Phase, in the you on parties, confrontations with men provoked and multiple fractures suffered.

Then she was hiding out in an eating disorder. "I felt like the outer forced me out of my inner-exempt. It was a highly disturbing and at the same time relaxing feeling."

"this strange, perverse way, I was glad to have the pain. You distracted me."Tatjana Kuehne, author of

Kuehne was getting thinner and thinner. She cannot think clearly, read what you did, however. In the school you wanted. Also, because they ached chairs Sitting on the wood. "This is strange, perverse way, I was glad to have the pain. You distracted me and calmed me. In addition, they gave me the feeling to be punished for what I did to my environment," she writes in her book. It is the mental Mechanics of self-destruction is not recorded, with a caution and distance, as might be expected from an 18-Year-olds.

Normal students like life

Tatjana Kuehne the person she is today. Even those traits that are a result of the experience. "I would not want to organize my life in the same meticulous way, I would not have been snatched from the control," she says. "I hadn't the consciousness of this duty and this almost pathological penchant for self-discipline."

Tatjana Bold: "Raped – My story", Xanthippe Verlag, 200 p., Fr. 27

Today, you know, to use these qualities for their own good. The anorexia still lurks in every bad day. "Then I say to myself: Today You may eat less, but tomorrow it has to be more." It is entirely up to yourself, as she says this.

"Happy moments I guess today is particularly intense."Tatjana Kuehne, author of

their relationship to men, have returned to normal again. Kuehne lives in a WG, studied history and German literature, during the semester vacation she works. In addition, she writes regularly for themselves.

Actually, the Text from the later, your book should be was not meant for the Public. He completed the theoretical part of her diploma thesis entitled. After the completion of your caregivers have encouraged you to publish your story.

offers from publishers

Out of curiosity, have you contacted a couple of large publishing houses in Germany. Got your astonishment, you have many positive answers, in part, was any contract. The plans of these publishers with its history, appeared to her but to commercial.

Finally, you have decided to Xanthippe Verlag in Zurich, which is neither a book launch on a reading tour consisted of. "It pleases me that I have no Promo-actions, am obliged to, and the freedom to accept, if I feel like it."

Happy moments take you today, particularly intense, is true, says Kuehne. Perhaps her senses had become more sensitive. The rape is a part of your life, you don't want to be silent.

The hot endure, the reactions. It was awful, grief, anger, and hatred. But you cannot prevent them from leading a casual life. And Tatjana Kuehne wants to encourage other women who have been raped to do the same.

(der landbote)

Created: 06.02.2019, 20:59 PM