"I want to play now! Immediately!" The little Marc stomps with the foot. Crimson is his head. The mom is now to play him right away! You just need to answer an urgent E-Mail, is the five-year-old. Marc's mother wonder how they animate the Little ones to be more patient and make him Wait can teach. A child who can wait? That's not tailgating, and fusses? The wish for most parents. "But patience is not innate in children," says Anja my name Berger, a consultant at the Contact youth and family counseling in Lucerne. "Children need to learn in the first place and need in this learning process, the support of the parents."
"The impatient behavior of children is not a character trait," says Anja for my Berger. The should tell parents again and again. It is a code that indicates the adult: The child needs help, because a Situation appears to be as difficult or attention, because it longs for closeness.
to the Large, because you have to wait in the supermarket, on the Bus or at the Kiosk for a few minutes?
The support begins with the adults demonstrate Little patience. Because with your good role model, parents influence the behaviour of the children in a large mass. The young talent from very early on, the Behavior of mom and dad. To the Large, because you have to wait in the supermarket, on the Bus or at the Kiosk for a few minutes? Then the Little one will respond soon just as impatient at delays.
parents should ask themselves, for example: How much time do I give to my child to do something? I leave it for several minutes with a Shoe rings before I ride-on screw-on? I'll help then, or I push it only to be immediately done? I let the child play in peace, or am I interrupting activities it constantly with any nich? By parents to let the children in the day time, you are also a model, and a life of patience and Serenity.
but What to do, if a little lumbering, Marc stands in front of you? Especially when the dad in front of boiling pots or mom's on the phone with the boss. Both of them should not say to the child, from the top down, it wait – but at eye-level. Literally. The best the parents can go to short in the Crouch and look the child in the eyes: "I hear you're impatient. You have been playing alone and now want to do something with me. Look, I'm here at the stove and must first make the done here – then I'm with you, and take care of you." This message can be good, by showing the child on the watch, when it will be finished and for the Small ready. The Small, the Wait is a bit easier, if you know that the pointer Is at nine, mom comes to Play.
the promise must be kept. This also applies when parents are under time pressure and Stress.
It is particularly important that the parents keep their promise. The pointer is at nine, you should really go to the child, instead of doing other tasks. "Otherwise, the child feels not perceived, perceives his needs to be ignored – and may begin a power struggle over Mama's attention", says the teacher, Annamaria Fisler from Staufen AG.
the promise must be kept. This also applies when parents are under time pressure and Stress. The father says: "I'm looking at your drawing," he may read, for example, the newspaper article finished yet, but it is not the whole newspaper. Anja my name Berger recommends to associate the word "equal" in everyday life with a short span of time, about two to five minutes. "So the child learns that "equal" a bridgeable time means," says the specialist. And the Small patient to respond. Experienced it, however, is that the parents say "equal", however, at first reading up to the end of the read, have a coffee and relaxed looking out the window, it will interpret the offspring "equal to" as "never". Thus, it can easily lead to quarrels and tears.
Maybe cries or fusses, the child, because he is bored? This is a good opportunity to practice patience. Parents can help by suggesting: "I see you're bored. This is me in the way sometimes, we get bored a few minutes together, I'm sure, then a great idea comes to you."
A Favor for the parents, do your offspring, if you behave consistently and not give in.
Nags the child in Public and don't want to wait? A short, clear message is for the young people is also important here. However, this is easier said than done. Because if parents are exposed to the know-it-all stubborn and grumpy Look on your fellow man, you will find yourself in temptation to the child to say uncle. But that should not be. Otherwise, the Small learns only one thing: It's just long enough to romp must – then it gets what it wants.
With this strategy, more problems than advantages to wave to him in his later life. A bigger Favor to the parents, their offspring do, if you behave consistently and not give in. The child will Express for a while his dissatisfaction. But then it will calm down. Because it looks that screaming leads to nothing. So it learns the long-term patience.
can be Patient and wait means to defer one's own needs. This ability depends heavily on the level of development of the child. "The age of the child plays a big role," says Annamaria Fisler. "Starting around four to five years, parents can expect quite a bit of patience." Of a three-year-old, however, mom and dad can ask the patient behavior of a double-old child.
That the parents forget that sometimes – for example when you are under Stress is normal. But, Hand on heart, If even the beloved mom and the most loving Papa to tears from time to time, of patience, how quickly that happens then the Small, not yet trained to wait patiently?
(the Swiss family)
Created: 18.12.2018, 15:04 PM