THAT IS YOUNG LOVE just bloomed or a long time, a married couple, it does not matter: the romantic relationships tend to fade with time. Because sometimes you impigrisce and you lose the desire and commitment to make things work, and even love requires ‘training’ and exercises help us to tone our romantic side. On the day dedicated to the feast of love, we asked Roberta Smith
, president of the Italian Federation of Sexology and Scientific, to help us to understand how to take care of the couple and ensure that the love remains alive through the gymnastics sentimental. The ingredients of love What makes a solid couple? What is that in a relationship, there is still complicity and passion? “You have to think of love as a pie,” says the sexologist. “It takes many ingredients to make it rise love: the feeling, but also the respect of the other, the esteem and the ability to communicate with each other.” The exercise of listening to You, the duration of the relationship, it is important that matters but also the well-being of the couple. That's why the ‘exercises’ that exercise of the feelings and the capacity to love: “it is important not to lose the will to speak and not only of the practical aspects such as who pays the bills or who does the spending. In a couple should always communicate their own feelings and their own feelings, open up to others and listen so that we can understand what happens to the partners and not to lose contact”. To train the attention for the other Are more and more frequent so-called ‘wedding white’, that is, those in which there is no sex. Better to be resigned? “You have to accept the fact that, in a couple, sexuality is never similar, but changes over time with new desires, new ways of entering into a relationship and different tastes from the past,” says Rossi, who adds: “it is important to maintain a high level of attention to others and their needs, not trascurandolo and without forgetting the importance of the physical contact daily with a kiss and a cuddle”. Via the clock to stimulate sexual fantasy, But the sexuality also requires time and all of us lead busy lives which often leave little space to the life of the couple. “At the beginning of a relationship, every situation is good for sex,” explains the expert. But in pairs of the long period it takes time to create the desire, to stimulate erotic. We must be aware that not just the quarter of an hour in the evening to have sex, but need to schedule time together, maybe starting from the feast of St. Valentine.” And if the desire is switched off? “If the couple wants to find an understanding - answers Red - you can make a small game expressing their sexual fantasies or the desire to be caressed and touched in a certain way and then try to experiment together”. The exercise of patience, Not only in couples of long-standing, but often also in those newly formed, sometimes the spark of discord threatens to burn every desire. What to do? “It's required a lot of patience and a good capacity of adaptation. Some studies have shown that those who have a rigid personality enters more easily into collision with the other, while those with ‘soft’ able to cope better with the changes that life holds for us as, for example, the birth of a son.” This does not mean to cancel or give up to say their opinion for a quiet life, but rather not to be judgemental and try to understand what is behind this form of rigidity: “sometimes it may be revenge for something that happened long ago, or the fear of losing power: it is good to reflect on what drives us to maintain the point and understand when to give up, and when, instead, it is a deeper problem,” says Rossi. The exercise of dreaming, Never lose the will you design something together: whether it's a special evening for Valentine's day, a trip, or simply the exchange of the sofa, and dream of something to accomplish together cements the relationship: “as you go forward with the age and the length of the relationship, " explains the sexologist – planning becomes increasingly important because it means that the couple remains united in the goal to achieve and gives a bit of excitement.”
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