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Lat: couples who do not live together last longer?
A SUBTLE balance between independence and emotional commitment as they are described by the psychotherapist Lucy Beresford, author of the book Happy Relationships, those who are today defined as the new cohabitation of those who decide to live together but separated (living apart together). It would seem a contradiction in terms, but many couples today choose this kind of relationship, you are together but then everyone returns home .

In this way you can safeguards your privacy, ignoring the daily monotony that often “makes” the relationship, you always have an escape route, but you lose the smell of the other in the morning when you wake up. In short, a way of living the relationship is not suitable for everyone probably, but very functional for those who want personal space and that do not deny the relationship but rather, they maintain it over time. We do not have data yet certain, but let's try to understand what may be other advantages and disadvantages of this relationship.

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If your daily life is a fundamental part of the torque and stable partner, living in separate homes ensures that this does not become boredom, the boredom that kills often the feelings and, above all, sexual desire: how many times must we say that not to dampen the libido you need to renew? This relationship type is guarantee in any way the non-repeatability and, above all, the non-expectation daily of something that could happen but maybe that is not the case. You choose to stay together when you feel like it, a bit like when once you had “boyfriends”. The day is spent on the priorities of the individual and, at times, see each other no, this way you keep the living spaces in coexistence, often lost.

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to Live separate can make it easier to find breath in a relationship, but to support a network of support, and to pursue outside interests can create the same sense of space and discovery in a dynamic of coexistence, of course we must work but it is possible. Then there is the economic factor, not all of them, even though they wish they can afford two houses, with all that this entails, then the choice, especially if in the same city, becomes a choice that is elitist. Certainly the LAT is not an absolute novelty, so many people in time maybe for professional reasons or the other have experienced this type of relationship, but in the current situation are replaced by the factor “mutual decision” that makes the difference and that makes the relationship more smooth and solid over time. If it is a choice, then, the LAT is certainly a way that many will feel to pursue, sharing projects and commitments without mixing too much personal space.

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Psychotherapist and sexologist at the Institute of Clinical Sexology of Rome, President of the Federazione Italiana di Sessuologia Scientifica

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