The full list of all the reasons Germany dropped out

We were eliminated in the group stage because Spain lost to Japan. Because we didn't win against Spain. Because we scored too few goals. Because we conceded too many goals. Because we missed the last greed. Because some players didn't want the ball at all.

Because we made too many mistakes. Because we risked too little. Because we're not a tournament team anymore. Because we risked too much. Because the national coach calls for courage, but didn't have one himself. Because Germany no longer has mentality monsters. Because Germany has no more goalscorers. Because Germany no longer has full-backs.

Because Musiala is too young. Because there was too much background noise. Because the crew quarters were too isolated. Because the players were allowed to rest too much. Because Hansi Flick substituted too early. Because Timo Werner wasn't there. Because the nation no longer stands behind its team. Because Hansi Flick relied too much on the Bayern block.

Because Fifa banned the one love armband. Because we didn't really believe in ourselves. Because Neuer didn't stick to the one love bandage. Because the players couldn't concentrate fully on football. Because we don't have any more leaders. Because we completely overestimated our quality. Because the DFB stuck to the one love bandage for too long. Because the players barely had time to rest. Because the team covered their mouths with their hands.

Because Hansi Flick replaced too late. Because Oliver Bierhoff is responsible for everything. Because "The Team" is not a team at all. Because the DFB buckled. Because the zero was not on the back. Because Füllkrug didn't play from the start. Because Hansi Flick experimented too much. Because only two of the players actually wanted the hand-to-mouth action. Because we no longer have street footballers in Germany. Because we no longer have specialists.

Because the team lacks the axis. Because Müller is too old. Because the players' families were allowed to come to the quarters twice. Because not all players have families. Because Götze didn't play from the start. Because we were the decisive step too late. Because we don't have a real six anymore. Because the national team is not FC Bayern. Because Hansi Flick avoids conflicts. Because we can't stand a headwind anymore.

Because football is no longer the campfire of the nation. Because we don't have cojones. Because the substitutions caused order to be lost. Because working with young people in Germany is a disaster. Because the players never got out of their comfort zone. Because we don't have a real number 10 anymore. Because we underestimated the Japanese. Because Hansi Flick trusted his favorites for too long.

Because football is a results sport. Because the opponents wanted it more. Because Kimmich played in midfield. Because the preparation was too bad. Because the fans failed. Because we overestimated Costa Rica. Because the last tick of determination was missing. Because Flick ignored the performance principle. Because we didn't close the sack. Because we weren't lucky. Because… Expected Goals! Because the "we" is not a we at all.