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Only 20 percent of all women cum during sex — which can help

It starts with desire.

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Only 20 percent of all women cum during sex — which can help

It starts with desire. Breathing faster, pulse racing. Then the muscles begin to twitch, everything vibrates - and a wave of euphoria rolls over us. For many people, the orgasm is one of the (warning, pun) highlights of life. Reaching him isn't always easy, and talking about it isn't always easy. Because to this day there is a social taboo around the topics of sex and lust

One topic in particular is usually neglected: female sexuality. According to a survey in autumn 2021, 48 percent of all men in Germany, but only 18 percent of all women, always have an orgasm during penetrative sex. This means that there is a gender-specific gap of 30 percent in sexual satisfaction, a so-called “orgasm gap”.

Where does this gradient come from? And what can help women have an orgasm? Two experts clarify.

First of all, it should be said: Even in an international comparison, women are hardly better off than in Germany. Globally, 20 percent of women climax during sex with their partner, compared to 49 percent of men. The representative survey was carried out by a market research company on behalf of a customer. A total of 14,500 people from 17 countries took part.

Johanna Rief is not surprised about the "Orgasm Gap". She is Head of Sexual Empowerment at sex toy company We Vibe and works closely with sex researchers and therapists on product development.

She told WELT: "It's no secret that it's easy for healthy men to reach orgasm through penetration. The movement stimulates the man’s largest pleasure organ, the glans.”

For women, it's a little more complex. "The anatomy of the clitoris, the woman's pleasure organ, is not stimulated as specifically during penetrative sex."

Rief's assessment is consistent with the results of the orgasm survey. Nearly 50 percent of female participants said they needed extra clitoral stimulation to cum during intercourse "every time," or three out of four times.

The sex expert also comments on the subject of female stimulation in the WELT podcast "EMBARRASSING - DOESN'T GIFT'S!":

Difficulty reaching orgasm can also be related to your relationship with your partner or your own libido. In an interview with WELT, Dr. Med. Christian Albring, President of the Professional Association of Gynecologists and resident gynecologist in Hanover: “In the gynecological practice, the topic of sexuality is discussed above all when there is psychological strain, for example significantly different expectations about the frequency of sexual intercourse, pain during sexual intercourse Sex, lack of desire for sex.”

Medical conditions can also lead to orgasm problems - such as inflammation or diseases that make genital sex impossible, a dry and vulnerable vagina due to a lack of hormones, or sexually transmitted infections. According to Dr. Albring limit libido and the ability to have an orgasm.

However, as with so many things in life, the number one suspect is stress. The resident gynecologist describes:

So if your job, kids, or partner are getting on your nerves, your sleep schedule is in the doldrums, or you don't have time to relax, it can be difficult to climax during sex - or even to feel pleasure at all.

Depending on what triggers the problems, there are different therapies and options. If a physical cause is suspected, a visit to the gynecologist is advisable - especially if pain occurs during sexual intercourse.

"It's important that women don't take it for granted that sex causes them pain," says Dr. Albring. "The pain may be hiding an infection, endometriosis, or some other condition that can be treated and eliminated."

If you are more likely to have anorgasmia – i.e. an inability to have an orgasm – or a low libido, the president of the professional association of gynecologists advises against drug treatment. “Pharmaceuticals to strengthen women's libido have not yet proven themselves in practice. The causes of anorgasmia or a lack of libido are too diverse for that.” In addition, the side effects of some new products have overshadowed the – not always reliable – effect of the medication.

If, in turn, there is a need to talk about sex, relationships or sexuality, it can make sense to think about sex therapy counseling. A gynecologist can provide limited support here.

Although all gynecologists have an additional qualification in psychosomatic medicine and many have a qualification in sexual medicine, according to Dr. Albring. But for further support, the President of the Federal Association for Gynecologists recommends specially trained psychotherapists or institutions designed for this purpose.

Johanna Rief has one last tip to take with you. For them, three points are important in order to tackle orgasm problems and thus overcome the "orgasm gap":

Taking your time can help you get to know your own body better. And through open discussions, we get closer to the goal of breaking taboos on sex and sexuality.

This article was first published for World Orgasm Day on December 21, 2021.

By the way: For some men, erection problems can limit their desire to have sex. But that doesn't have to be the case, explains one expert:

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