‘Should’ and ‘ought’ are big words, when it comes to people and behavior, but, nevertheless, dare we them here: If your relationship should be warm, loving and long-lasting, there are a few, but fundamental things you ought to do.
It is, in any case, what few-parterapeuterne Linda and Charlie Bloom claims on their blog with the beautiful name 'Stronger in the Broken Places'.
Here is their short list, which can save your relationship and to do it well and lovingly.
In the daily ‘project family’ is very much about logistics, about who should do what when. So can be easy to forget to just stop and focus on the boyfriend.
To take just a quarter of an hour out of the day's busy schedule and give your partner unconditional attention and just ask how it's going, is worth its weight in gold.
It must selvfølig then be combined with, that you listen with care and empathy. The feeling of cohesion will grow between you.
You work and go to yoga and Spanish, he is working and trainer both fitness and marathon, and your young ones shall be run to the various pastimes, and then there are friends and family that need to be taken care of and then there is about no quality partid back in the busy calendar.
Here should and must you choose to choose each other in meaningful ways that connect you emotionally. It can be deeper conversations about what dreams you have, each for itself and for the relationship. It can also be the date night, where you have fun. Few things brings cohesion as shared amusement.
A third thing which is essential on a daily basis and which is itself glued in the ratio: Touch. And not just that stuff and tantekysset, but a form of sensual touch. As can be sex, but absolutely should not be or lead to it.
As one of sexforskningens legends William Masters said to his students: ‘Tell your pair, that are not allowed to go 24 hours without some form of sensual touch.’
Without this sensual context, at risk couples to be adminstrerende directors in A/S relationships, they become friends, business partners and not lovers. The relationship will dry without daily caresses.
all in All, requires the ratio of a measure of daily presence, recognition, generosity gratitude and confirmation.
'Listen, hov', you might be thinking, what with the sex, hear sex with in this equation?
Yes, it makes the pity, since the research shows that if you are responsive - as in point 1 - you'll probably get more sex.
the Researchers wanted to find out how the couple tackles one of life's great paradoxes: In relationships, we seek intimacy and closeness, but this has a downside: Intimacy in the longer term may lead to less lust.
In all long-lasting relationships must other words, the big with safety and boredom on the one hand, and adventure, eroticism and insecurity on the other.
The new study suggests that, under certain circumstances, does not need to be a paradox. Deep understanding and responsiveness seems indeed to maintain the subject.
In one of the experiments had more than 100 pairs, keep a diary for six weeks with a focus on the particular desires and perceptions of the partner's responsiveness.
And here it appears that when the man sees his partner as supportive and responsive, you feel appreciated, just like you also think that the partner's value on the kødmarkedet increases - which means that you feel greater sex drive:
- the Sexual desire is growing of increased intimacy, and responsiveness is one of the best ways you can boost this fleeting feeling, much better than wild sex, is one of the scientists behind, Gurit Birnbaum.
- Our research shows that people who are responsive and sympathetic to each other outside the bedroom, is able to maintain subject, says Birnbaum, who explains that responsiveness is so important, because it signals that open and informed really goes up in how your partner has it - you invest and show understanding on a deep level.