Here is the best way to say no to sex

No one has just like always. Therefore, there will continually face situations in a relationship where one says ' no ' to the partner's sexinitiativ.

But there is a big difference in how you thank no to an intimate atmosphere. And some ways are clearly better than others.

Although a sexafvisning can get sexinitiativtageren to feel uattrakiv and unwanted, is lystdiskrepans not in itself necessarily a conflict.

It appears a new scientific study from Canada, where researchers identify four fundamentally different ways to say ' no ' to sex.

See also: How to keep the spark alive

Over three delstudier shows the scientists how few use these afvisningsstrategier.

You tell, that you do not have the desire for sex, but assure your girlfriend that you still love him and still think that she/he is sexy and appealing. You also offer alternative forms of physical contact such as kisses, cuddling and caresses. In addition, promise you that you will soon get on the track again.

You are showing your frustration with your girlfriend and/or criticise the other parts of your relationship. The anger, the rejection can also be in the form of silence or criticism by the way, the partner takes the initiative to sex.

You explain in a very direct and clear way, why you have no desire for sex. Even if you are honest with him/her, do not you take into account your partner's feelings.

You pretend you haven't noticed your boyfriend's sexoplæg. You turn from him or put you in a position which is inappropriate to kiss and stuff, or you pretend that you are asleep.

Kiss & love - 1. jan. 2020 - pm. 06:23 You'd like to be selfish in bed

In one of delstudierne led 98 few the diary of sexual desire, rejected, and received sexinitiativer as well as satisfaction with sex and cohabitation every night for a month.

And it will astonish you, when we tell the following result of the researchers ' analysis:

When the participants rappoterede that her boyfriend had rejected sexinitiativet in the affirmative or comforting show, they were more satisfied with the relationship. And when they reported that her boyfriend refused on the enemy way, the decrease of the satisfaction with the relationship significantly.

In the study, scientists could not trace significant differences in the satisfaction with the relationship, when the partner is rejected on the elusive or assertive manner.

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We asked the Danish therapist and sexologist Christiane Meulengracht about what she believes is the best way to say no to sex on the.

- this is where The risk that your partner takes it personally, is reduced. It can be to look him or her in the eyes, make sure loving touch and say ‘What a lovely offer. I am not in the shot right now, I would like to have done it, I started with, finished, but what do you say to that we love later or tomorrow or when we have been in the bath?'

And of course you must deliver on the expectation, you now put up. Of course, this requires that you HAVE the desire, but right now you're busy doing something else.

Private

According to Meulengracht teeth many not spontaneously, then they will not be horny and gives himself over in 5 minutes.

- I would think that at least 50 percent of the population must spend the time to put the everyday chores and everything that pulls at us from different sides, from themselves and actively give space to get down in the body and give himself over to enjoyment.

- the Other is simply kept up with to turn on their girlfriend. Perhaps he has proved to be a bit of a vatnisse, or hygiene do not live up to a blowjob. Or she is held up to show him attention, and she did not bother to make an effort and is uninterested.

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According to the sex therapist, one must probably count on, the more times your girlfriend feel rejected, the more inflamed a topic will sexual be. It is quite common that one has more desire than the other.

Or that one has more desire in some situations or times of day, and it is the opposite of the partner. Like an a - and a B-man often come together.

- In love and in the beginning of the relationship is sexen, it rarely, there is the biggest problem. But after having had three children and lived together for 10 years, and that not only is home-logistics, which must be looked after, but also full-time jobs, sports, and friends, end up we are often in a life where sexual arousal have disadvantaged backgrounds.

- You may feel, you simply need to say ' no ' to an activity, because you are not orcs, but your partner feel with great probability personally rejected. Maybe not to begin with, but it will increase with the number of rejections. And it will inevitably lead to other challenges in the parlivet and infection of the on your communication, which in turn will make your desire dwindling. A vicious circle.

- Should you have sex when you do not want to, in order not to hurt the partner?

- No, I think not. I think that you should look to see if you've forgotten to enjoy his life and be in contact with his body. To take an interest in what turns one, and what of the-teeth a.

- I think, that you have to open up a dialogue about desire and the ignition, to make the everyday discretion and flirty and refrain from criticism and reproaches - and then seek to understand and support each other and together create a relationship that makes you happy.

Kiss & love - 23. jan. 2019 - at. 16:58 Not bright in the evening? Say no to sex this way